I have been doing a lot of thinking since my father’s latest illness and subsequent passing to his new life…
The predominant thought that has followed me is one of gratitude – gratitude for having stood in the shade of my father’s tree. You see, my father was so much like a willow tree with branches and leaves so strong, yet flexible, all-enveloping and welcoming for all. His roots were anchored firmly in deep and unconditional love, from which his life took hold and took flight.
As a tree gives shelter, my father was a giver. Whether he was fighting world hunger, a plant disease or helping a young person find his or her way, he always strove to make a difference with that unique energy that he could muster when he dreamed up some new idea. He gave his ideas life through endless ingenuity – that special Italian quality that generated a constant flow of solutions, gadgets and fixes. He was a true Roman. His “testa dura” (or hard head) made him determined and persistent, and ultimately successful at anything he set his mind to do.
As a tree provides support to its branches and leaves and security to the birds who nest in there, my father was always present to guide, give advice and on which to fall back. He was a bridge-builder who could bring together people from different cultures and solve big problems. Inspired by the great woman by his side, he was a courageous man who made his own way with uncompromising integrity and humility. Many a time, I witnessed him calling my mother at 5 in the evening telling her that his meetings were not progressing well and asking if he could bring his diplomats home for dinner. She would go in to hyper-drive, and within two hours a fabulous feast would be served, and magically the next day the differences previously encountered were gone. My parents knew how to build relationships.
I’m sure that my sisters agree that having parents like my mother and father has truly been a gift. Not only did we witness an unbelievable love story that lasted for over 60 years, but we were also washed with endless love that they generously showered on to us daughters, their grandchildren, the extended family and the many, many friends that always quickly became “family.” Their hospitality knew no boundaries. There was always an extra spot at the table, a good plate of pasta and a bottle of wine – preferably the “Black Rooster Chianti” of course! My mother and father had the capacity to just glance at each other and understand what the other was thinking and take action. That connection never faltered, in sickness and in health.
My father was a teacher. Whether it was teaching about history, science, sailing or swimming – his grandkids will never forget how their Nonno taught them to not be afraid of the water – my father was a fount of knowledge. He loved to teach about his beloved Eternal City, the Romans and…The Etruscans…The Etruscans! “…If they only knew what they would become!!!” Until the end he spoke about writing his Guides of Rome, the Guide of Guides…He valued education, and never stopped learning.
My father was a truly funny man…He taught me to laugh at myself, to find humor in life’s many crevices. His eyes would sparkle when he told that joke that may have been a little off-color, and I would gleefully repeat it and watch him laugh as my mother played the “bad cop” playfully scolding him. Until the very end, I lovingly teased him and he smiled back, understanding the power of laughter.
My father’s tree is one under which you could always find respite – without judgment or reproach. His branches always open, he always was able to see the upside to even the darkest of situations. He knew when to speak and when to keep silent. He allowed us to make mistakes, never critical and always supportive. His trunk was one on which we could always lean.
While we grieve for our physical loss of Luigi, we must also rejoice in his life well lived. His tree remains alive. I rejoice in knowing that he is always with me and in me. He is here with us today, and in each of us who had the honor of either having been created because of him, or just having known him and having been a part of his lively, passionate and interesting life.
I know that he is looking down on us, with that sparkle in his eyes, hopefully very pleased with his work while here on earth. Heaven has become a brighter place because of the presence of Luigi Chiarappa.
--C.L.C.
thank you cynthia, I agree in everything you wrote and share many of the beautiful memories we had together!!
My love to zia...
Bene
Posted by: Benedetta | October 19, 2010 at 01:39 PM